To the followers

The whole six that this blog has.

Thank you for sticking around. I promise to be posting some more chapters soon. My goal is to have this finished by the end of year!

Thank you again! Your comments mean everything to me on this project.

Chapter 3 - Oops....

***CHAPTER 3 IS BEING POSTED WITHOUT ANY EDITING. I WROTE IT A MONTH AGO AND JUST HAVE NOT HAD THE TIME OR MOTIVATION TO EDIT IT WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON. PLEASE BE GENTLE. YOUR COMMENTS/SUPPORT DETERMINE IF I FINISH IT. WITH THE LACK OF INTEREST, I FIND IT HARD TO WANT TO WRITE. THANK YOU.***

I had never seen Les Tres this busy before. The recent sighting of Jordan had turned the place into a paprazzi palace full of people just hoping to get a picture of him. I studied the room hoping to find Sofia or Abigail but had no luck. I stopped off at the bar and ordered myself the usual Mojito. I took one sip and the events from earlier slowly left my train of thought. I was lost in the lime and mint that was this ever so delicious Mojito.

I must have been too consumed by my drink because the next thing I knew, my Mojito was all over myself and the guy that I had accidentally run into.

I was profusely apologizing and trying to soak up the mess when he turned around. Staring at me were two big blue eyes that with no doubt belonged to him.

Fuck.

My mind went blank and I began to stutter. I couldn't put sentences together or even form words. My thoughts were a jumbled mess. I kept my mouth shut to avoid looking like a bumbling fool.

He smiled.

Fuck.

My knees went weak and it was so hard for me to keep upright.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

:I am fine. Thank you." I couldn't believe it. I had somehow managed to form a sentence and have it make sense.

He laughed.

"I'm really sorry. Are you ok?"

"A little wet but I will dry."

"Again, I am really sorry. I can't even begin to try and think how much that jacket cost. I will pay to clean it or replace it."

Ok, so maybe I was looking for a way to get his number.

"Don't worry about it. Can I buy you another drink?"

Oh my god. Oh my god.

"Sure. Thank you"

I somehow managed to walk from where we were standing to the bar without face planting into a table or barstool. I managed to keep walking without tripping and falling to the floor. How would that have been for a second impression? It wasn't like my first impression was all that stellar anyway.

"Jordan," he said as he held out his hand.

"Rylee," I said as I took his hand. His hands were soft and gentle. I am never washing that hand again.

As we were waiting for my drink I spotted Abigail who then saw me. She got this surprised look of shock on her face and I mouthed "I know!" and I pointed at him.

Caught.

I tried to casually run my hand through my hair in hopes that he didn't see my not so nonchalant jesture.

He noticed. And then stairs at Abigail. And then at me and smiled as he turned back to the bar to grab my drink.

"Thanks for the drink."

"You're welcome. Now try to keep this one in your mouth and not down some poor guys jacket."

And with that we went our separate ways. I watched him disappear into the crowd before making my way to the table where Abigail, Sofia and Lauren all sat with dumbfounded looks on their faces.

"What?"

"Was that... Jordan Stamps?" Sofia asked confused.

"Who is that?" I said as I was playing it cool.

"Jordan Stamps from 101 Degrees. THE Jordan Stamps. Only the hottest man on planet Earth."

"Maybe. He did say his name was Jordan."

"How... What... Why?" Sofia tried to stammer out.

"I, being the klumsy person that I am, spilled my drink on him so he bought me another. No big deal."

"No big deal? Rylee, are you out of your mind?"

No, I am not out of my mind. I know exactly who he was. I spent about 10 minutes containing drool in my mouth and keeping my head on straight. I know that 10 years ago, every woman in this room kissed his posters every night before bed. They had my same dreams.

Of course I knew he was. I would be dumb not to. And I touched him.

As the conversation changed to Sofia's recent modeling job, I scanned the room. I saw Jordan talking to some important looking people on the other side of Les Tres. I couldn't have believed my luck tonight.

Jordan looked up and caught my eye. He smiled, turned to the people he was with and said something. The next thing I knew, he was making his way over to the table I was at. I just knew he had seen Abigail or Sofia and wanted me to introduce them.

"Hey." I said as he approached the table.

He smiled and introduced himself to Sofia and Abigail.

"Care to dance?"

ME? Me, Rylee Madison was being asked to dance by Jordan Stamps. And not the two other beautiful women sitting at my table. Me.

"Of course."

We went out on to the dance floor. He pulled me close as a slow song came on. He took one of my hands and put it around his neck and took my other hand in his.

"I'm not a very good dancer."

"I see this" he smirked.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Having a good time tonight?" He asked.

"Yes. A great time. And yourself?"

"Good so far. I am a little cold however. You see this girl, she spilled a drink on my jacket so I had to take it off."

My face turned a bright shade of red.

"I am really sorry about that. My feet aren't exactly coordinated and sometimes they don't like to work together."

He laughed at that.

"You were just mesmerized my charming good looks and forgot how to walk. Its ok. I understand. Trust me, you aren't the first."

"Cocky much?"

"Maybe just a little."

The song changed to the new T.Pain song and he let go of me. I thanked him for the dance and turned to make my way back to my table.

"Where are you going? I am not done yet." He said as he grabbed my hand.

Believe me, I was completely ok with that. I turned back around and we got low on the dance floor. We bumped and grinded our way through the song and then the next.

By the third song we might as well have been the only ones in the room. There was no care whatsoever about anyone else there. And I had no care of who was watching or what people were saying.

At the end of the song another slow song came on.

"I need a break." I yelled.

He nodded and said he had to go back to the people he was with for a moment so I headed back to my table.

"What?"

I recognized the looks Abigail and Sofia were giving me. I think there might be a slight hint of jealousy in there as well. I didn't care.

At that very moment I couldn't describe how I was feeling. I was on cloud 9 and counting.

But at that very moment I also had to go to the bathroom. I could feel a lot of eyes on me as I made my way to the bathroom. I didn't know what they were thinking but I am sure I could figure it out. And honestly, I didn't care.

I made my way down the winding hall that led to the bathroom. I stared at myself in disbelief in the mirror before finding a stall. When I was done I walked to the sink and washed my hands. I still couldn't believe the events of tonight.

I was more sure than ever tonight that last week Jordan did smile at me.

I finished up and made my way out of the bathroom. Jordan was walking towards me. When he came closer, he grabbed me and threw me up against the wall. He pushed himself to me and his lips met mine. Who was I fight him off. This had been my dream for years now.

His lips were soft and he was an amazing kisser. The whole time I was enjoying the kiss I did my best to not think of how my kiss was for him.

The kiss got heavier and his hands started to wonder in places that they shouldn't in public.

"Do you want to get out of here."

I was breathless. I couldn't speak so I just nodded my head.

He grabbed my hand and we headed out the back door. Made sense. Paparazzi filled the front of the club.

We hopped into his car which was worth more than my life would ever be.

"Can we go back to your place? Mine isn't furnished yet."

"Uh, yeah. That's fine. Turn here. I have to warn you though, it is a condo building."

"That's fine. You go in first."

"It is the top floor. Number 2014."

We pulled up to the building and I got out and started to walk to the front door while Jordan went to park. I suddenly started to get nervous. What if he doesn't show up. No. This was his idea. He will be there.

When I got walked in I sent a quick text to Abigail and Lauren to let them know I was already home and ok. I didn't want them worrying about me. I quickly looked about the room. My need for a maid was made crystal clear and that very minute. There were things everywhere. I stuffed as much as I could into the hall closet and made a mental reminder to be careful when I open that door again.

There was a knock at the door and I jumped. I looked through the peephole. He was perfect.

"Hey" I said as I opened the door and invited him in.

My mind was racing with a hundred different thoughts. I had no idea what would happen at this point. I was nervous and trying unsuccessfully to hide my obviously shaking hands.

What do you say? What do you do?

"Would you like a glass of wine?"

Really? Wine?

"I am not really a wine drinker. Do you have anything else?"

I opened my fridge back up and looked inside. All I had was beer. Being from Texas, I liked a good beer every now and then. Ok, it was actually what I preferred to drink. But here in Los Angeles, women who drank beer had a trashy reputation.

"Well, do you?" I heard coming from right behind me. He was so close I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I tensed up and had a tingly sensation come over my body.

"Beer."

"Perfect. My kind of woman."

I took one out for each of us and went out to my balcony while Jordan used my bathroom.

The weather was quite nice tonight. There was a nice ocean breeze blowing tonight. I started to think of what happened earlier. I tried to piece together the night to figure out how and why Jordan Stamps was in my house. What would possess him to come back here. With me? I silently laughed at my house. I was a silly girl. My thoughts were interrupted when Jordan joined me.

"What an amazing view."

"Thanks. It is the reason I bought this place."

"You know, I never took you as a beer drinker."

"Really? What makes you say that?"

"Mojitos. Stilettos. Most girls like that won't come with in ten feet of beer."

"I'm not that kind of girl" I took a big drink of mine.

Jordan started coming closer to me. He had that look in his eye and I started to feel my legs go number. He took my face in his hand and brought me up to him. I could feel his breath on me. He was staring into my eyes and I could tell what he wanted.

"Then tell me, what kind of girl are you?"

And with that, he kissed me hard but with passion. I kissed back. I didn't want it to end. Here I was, kissing Jordan Stamps. I had only dreamed of this for ten years. If I was sleeping, I had no desires to wake anytime soon.

"Bedroom?" I asked when we finally decided to stop for breath.

He shook his head yes and we stumbled our way into the bedroom.

Chapter 2 - The Initial Meeting

The rest of the weekend had been, for the most part, uneventful. I had spent most of Sunday nursing a slight hangover and trying to find a way to conveniently miss Lauren's calls. I had also wasted time catching up on my celebrity gossip by reading the gossip blogs online. PerezHilton.com had confirmed that it was Jordan Stamps at Les Tres the night before and not just my imagination playing a mean, cruel trick on me. According to the website, Jordan left as soon as word got around the Paparazzi had found out he was there and were staked out outside.

Mondays at work were usually a little more hectic than today since I usually have a wedding or two on the weekends that need some final paperwork filled out. I did have an initial consultation at 10am today and I would be able to prepare myself for the meeting without having and unnecessary interruptions.

The first meeting with any event is always the most mundane. It usually consists of contracts, forms and legalities. Thankfully, I have my assistant Danielle who has most of the brides fill out and then go over all of the paperwork before they ever step foot in my office. It saves me time and the embarrassment from passing out from boredom on a bride.

Today I was meeting with Ashley Ford. I had never really heard of Ashley but her fiancée was Jackson Green, an actor known for his lead role in the summer blockbuster "SuperStar." Since the movie had opened, Jackson had been the it-person in Hollywood and everyone wanted a piece of him. He was a main fixture in the tabloids and gossip websites. Ashley had been his high school sweetheart and they had managed to stay together through the pressures and publicity that comes with Hollywood life. They had even managed to keep Ashley a secret until the engagement had been announced. Jackson was scheduled to leave for Europe for 6 months while he worked on his next film and they had decided to get married before he leaves. His flight left in 4 months.

Most weddings take on average twelve months to plan but with the size and budget of Ashley and Jackson's wedding, I would really need about fifteen to eighteen months to completely plan and execute this wedding. Unfortunately, Jessica Ellis, the owner of J. Ellis Events, had given me this wedding as a test to see what I can handle and how much I can take. She would be watching my every move to make sure that I didn't screw up. I decided to take Jessica's challenge and blow her away. I hope.

At 10am, Danielle buzzed my office to let me know that Ashley had arrived and had already been instructed to fill out all of the paperwork. I started to feel slightly nervous and that never happens to me. It could be all of the attention and publicizing this wedding was garnering. Or just the fact that I was intimidated slightly by the budget and the amount of time I had to pull it all together but I took a deep breath and composed myself as Danielle opened the door and Ashley walked in.

I couldn't help but notice that she wasn't exactly what I expected when she walked in. Then again, I don't really know what I was expecting. She was in jeans and a t-shirt. It isn't exactly the kind of clothing you would normally wear for this kind of meeting but she looked comfortable. I can't blame her though, if I could decide what to wear to work, I would wear my jeans and a t-shirt too. She had her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and she hadn't even bothered with her makeup. I envied her.

"Hi Ashley, I am Rylee Madison. It is so great to finally meet you!"

We shook hands and took a seat. She was obviously nervous and was feeling slightly out of her element. I decided to help her relax by talking about everything that didn't involve wedding plans. I found out that she was from a small town girl and still had all of the likes and characteristics of it. By the end of the conversation, I had begun to realize that we had a lot in common and we were becoming a little bit more comfortable with each other.

When the conversation finally came to wedding plans, her eyes lit up and I couldn't seem to get her to stop talking. She told me that Jackson would be too busy with promotions, appearances and interviews to make most of the appointments and that her family had no interest in helping to plan a high profile celebrity wedding. She also informed me that the best man would be acting as a fill in for the groom at most of the appointments. This was a first for me since most brides usually have their maid of honor or a good friend fills in. I could already tell this wedding wouldn't be like most weddings.

Ashley had provided me with a list of places that she wanted to consider for the ceremony and reception sites. We had scheduled some time next week to go and take a look at some of them. She had already decided on the colors which makes my job easier. She had picked ivories, creams and pale pink. Those weren't uncommon and very easy to work with. I loved how she didn't seem so high maintenances like most brides. I have seen brides change their colors several times.

"Have you looked at dresses yet?"

"No, I don't know many people out here and my family isn't exactly ready to make a trip out here."

I got the feeling that her family wasn't exactly excited for the upcoming nuptials. I paged Danielle to check my schedule for the rest of the day. I had decided that I would take Ashley dress shopping because really, who says shopping doesn't cheer a girl up? Once Danielle said my schedule was empty, I told her I was leaving for the remainder of the day. I grabbed my purse and we were out the door.

My most favorite part of the wedding planning process is dress shopping. I prefer to go on the initial dress search just so I can get an idea of the overall effect the bride is thinking of for her wedding. If the bride has already tried on dresses, I ask to see pictures of dresses or if the dress has been purchased, I have been known to have the bride try on the dress in my office. The dress is what completes a wedding. You can have a hundred small details but the dress is one of them that doesn't go unnoticed by anyone. It is the glue that makes every little piece of the wedding come together.

I decided to take Ashley to my favorite dress shop, The Dress Boutique. As we walked in, Candace, the salesperson, greets me as she hands each of us a mimosa. I introduce her to Ashley and explain our situation. Candace reassures me that she can perform a miracle and I start to feel much better.

I send Ashley to go through the dresses that were displayed on the racks. After she picked out a few, we headed back to the dressing rooms. Candace went into the dressing room to help Ashley zip and button herself into the gowns.

Ashley came out in the first dress, a vintage lace, strapless, Basque waist gown. It was a beautiful piece of lace that crystals hand sewn strategically on the bodice. Ashley was, no doubt, going to a beautiful bride. I caught myself tearing up as she kept turning and spinning to see herself at different angles in mirror.

I think that Ashley was shocked to see herself in the dress as well. It was obvious that she was fighting back tears of her own. We both looked at each other and realized we were a bunch of blubbering messes. We burst out laughing and simultaneously said "I think this is the one!"

Although we all agreed, we decided it would be best that Ashley try on a few more dresses that she had picked out just to make sure that it was, in fact, "the one." Each time Ashley emerged from the dressing room, we just didn't have the same reaction as we did with the first dress. I explained to Ashley that it would be a good idea to take a break to have some lunch. When we were finished, we could come back and the put the dress back on just to make sure that we still had the same jaw dropping reaction.

We went to El Sanchez for lunch. Mexican was my favorite which apparently was something else that Ashley and I had in common. We talked about wedding details while we waited for our food to arrive. Ashley went on about all of the ideas that she had already thought of and I was impressed with the amount of work she put into it.

When our food finally came, we ate in silence and fast. The food was delicious but we were both antsy and wanted to get back to The Dress Boutique. I picked up the tab when we were done and hurried back to the store. Candace still had the dress out and when Ashley came back out of the dressing room her smile was even bigger than the first time. There was no doubt that this was the dress. When Ashley finally took the dress off and changed, she made an appointment to come in next week for her first fitting and to ad a few personal and custom touches.

One of out biggest tasks had been completed and I hadn't even broken a sweat.

The rest of the week had flown by. I had a small wedding Saturday afternoon and I had spent most of my time finishing the details for it and working on my vision board for Ashley's wedding. When I didn't have weddings on my mind, I was daydreaming about Jordan Stamps. By the end of the week, the gossip tabloids had slowly stopped reporting about his rare sighting. I had given up on ever seeing him again in person and shrugged it off as a once in a lifetime chance, I mean, who could say that they had been thisclose to Jordan Stamps and him actually smile at you.

At least, I still think he smiled at me.

I am the furthest thing from a morning person and 6 am Saturday morning came way too early. I more than loathed early weddings. I had spent all of Friday night at the rehearsal going over final attendant placement and finalizing the seating chart. We were at the church until almost 8 PM and I had been invited to the rehearsal dinner. I didn't leave the dinner until almost 11. And while this had been a small wedding compared to most, it was one of my toughest brides ever.

If you opened up the dictionary to the word "bridezilla", there would be a picture of the bride in all her glory, horns intact. She would find every possible little detail to argue with me about. After she would call 5 or 6 times in one day, I would start to ignore her phone calls. I can't say that the day of this wedding was here. The nightmare would finally be over.

After the rehearsal dinner, I headed back to my condo. As I walked in my front door "the Brain" started to ring. I almost ignored it because I was too afraid it would be the "bridezilla". I was slightly relieved to see that the caller was Abigail.

"Hello"

"Hey Rylee. We are meeting up at Les Tres tomorrow night and I wanted to know if you are coming?"

"Yes!" I almost shouted with excitement. I had a pretty good idea of how tomorrow would go and a few drinks afterward would definitely be a nice reward after a long day.

"See you tomorrow!"

After we hung up the phone, I hopped in the shower. When I was done, I crawled into bed, looked at the clock and cursed 6 AM. It should be a crime for anyone to have to wake up that early!

When my alarm went off, I contemplated calling in sick, or better yet... Dead. I knew that wasn't even the slightest of possibilities so I made a whining noise as I pulled myself out of bed. I was dragging as I got myself ready for the day.

On my way to the church, I stopped at Beanz. I ordered my usual but this time, double the espresso shots. Today, it was a necessity. No one wants to see me without my coffee this morning.

The wedding ceremony would be held in a church that dated back to the early 1900's. It has a lot of character but is a pain to book any kind of event. You usually have to reserve two years in advance. The bride wanted this church. No. The bride demanded this church and would not be happy until it was booked. Luckily, there had been a recent cancellation and I was able to scoop up the date.

I walked into the church to make sure the final details were in place. The sweet peas and ranunculus gave the church a more sophisticated yet romantic setting. Crystals added that perfect touch to an already amazing array of floral arrangements.

As I made my rounds, I checked in on both the bride and groom. They were both ready but had the usual pre-wedding jitters. Once I knew that everything at the church was ready, I left Danielle to handle the ceremony. I was needed at the wedding reception site to go over the final details and since this was an early morning wedding, it didn't leave me with enough time to handle both. I knew that Danielle could more than handle the ceremony.

Since there is no room at the church to hold the reception, Bridezilla had decided to have the reception at a local country club a few miles away from the church. The reception is going to be held in the main courtyard. As I was walking up the hill, I realized that today was going a little too easy for me. Something was bound to go wrong at any moment. I could just feel it. Almost everything had been ready. The dessert table has been covered with delectable pink candy chocolates and cake.

Cake?

Where's the cake?

The cake should have been here by now.

I started to get a little frantic. The cake is the second most important element in every wedding and it was nowhere to be found. I tried to remain calm as I pulled out "the Brain" and dialed the bakery.

"What do you mean it has already been delivered?... Are you sure you have the right wedding?... I am standing right here looking at a cake-less cake table!!!"

With that information, we were on an official cake hunting mission. The crew and I all set out in a massive cake hunt. We looked anywhere and everywhere that a cake could possibly be. There happened to be another wedding going on at another location at the country club. I managed to wrangle a golf cart and sped over to it. They had a cake but sadly, not the one I was looking for. The crew had asked everyone that they could find but no one had seen a mysteriously disappearing, 6 tier and almost 200 pound cake.

I had all but given up hope and called Danielle to let her know of the drama unfolding at the reception site. I figured she could find a way to tell Bridezilla better than I could at this point. When she answered the phone, I frantically explained the drama unfolding at the country club. My mind and words were going about a mile a minute and I am surprised she found a way to decipher my nonsense. When I was finally done, I could tell she was trying to hold back a laugh.

"What is so funny?"

"The bakery called me this morning and said they put the cake in the refrigerator in the cafe. I sent a text message to your phone earlier."

I couldn't believe it. "The Brain failed me."

Cake crisis adverted.

There ceremony and reception had been a success. I was looking forward to a night out at Les Tres more than ever!

Chapter 1 - At First Glance

 10 YEARS LATER

I find myself staring without a clue at all of the contents in my closet yet again. Sadly, most of the items still have the price tags on them which is quick to remind me that I am a compulsive shopaholic. It's not exactly one of my most favorable traits. Shopping for me is my "creative outlet." There is something about colors and textures and matching shoes to a nice top and pair of pants. Ok, so maybe that is just my excuse.

Attempting to decide on what to wear is usually one of the hardest decisions that I have to make on a daily basis. The amount of thought and stress that goes into it is just unreal. Call me crazy, most people do.  Of course my job requires that I make the tough decisions such as vendors, floral arrangements, color schemes and my all time favorite, the cocktail hour menu. However, work decisions are quite easy for me, second nature even.  Everyone always told me that I had a gift for planning parties. It came as no surprise to my friends and family when I decided to trade small town Texas life for the lights and glamour of Los Angeles. I had been given an amazing opportunity to work as an elite wedding coordinator for J. Ellis Events. One would be considered crazy to pass up that kind of opportunity.

I like to exert a lot of time and effort into picking out the perfect outfit. There are many qualities that I look for in each item of clothing that I choose. They are the same qualities that I look for in a man. The piece (and man) must be charming, witty, have a good sense of humor, always maker sure I am happy and it must be strong yet sensitive.

My eyes quickly focused on something purple in the very back of my closet. I reached in and pulled out a strapless knee length dress. It had an empire cut bodice with a sweetheart neckline. Rhinestones flowed down the skirt that made it sparkle but not too much.  It had been months since I had bought it and not surprisingly, it still had the price tag attached.

When I saw the dress on display at Marx, I knew that it just had to take up real estate in my closet. It fit all of my relationship qualifications plus some. We had a bonding moment there in that dressing room. When I put it on, it was like Heaven's light had shown down on me. We were definitely a match made in Heaven.

Even the price tag couldn't be more perfect, especially once I realized it was on sale. I knew it was mine and I couldn't seem to get the dress off fast enough and get it to the register. I was afraid I was having a shopping nightmare and I would be waking up at any minute. I must have looked like a crazy woman but I quickly whipped out my ever so trustworthy American Express, signed the receipt and ran out the door before someone told me that the dress wasn't really for sale. I must have thrown it into my closet and over time, it ended up getting squeezed between my other purchases.

My final decision was the purple dress however finding shoes could prove a disaster. Once you find the perfect outfit, you must compliment it with the perfect shoes and jewelry other wise you have to start right back at the beginning. I dug through hundreds of shoes and I must have been digging for an eternity before I found them, my Henry Gaultier silver pumps.

I ended up matching the outfit with my favorite silver jewelry that I picked up from the Gootchie Boutique. I may or may not have chosen the silver heart pendant for the sole purpose of drawing attention to my cleavage. I took one last look in the mirror and checked my watch. I, Rylee Madison, was late once again.

As I rushed around my ocean front condo, I remembered to grab "the Brain." "The Brain" is my personal assistant and best friend. It listens to me anything I need a shoulder and laughs with me, not at me. It knows my tears and fears and my most intimate and private secrets. "The Brain" is my trustworthy Blackberry. I don't know how I have ever managed to live without this precious device. I think it should be a law that everyone has one. My life would be nothing but chaotic without it. Tonight, "the Brain" had a mission. Its sole purpose was to collect any and all phone numbers that I was given tonight. The mission was accepted.

My condo is located on the top floor of an ocean front condominium building. The view from my balcony is absolutely breathtaking. To be completely honest, it is the reason I bought this condo and not one more budget friendly. My life is constantly on the go and my home is my sanctuary. I like to come here and shut out the troubles of work and social life. I love to people watch in the ocean below. I like to sit back and wonder what their story is. I want to ask the older couples how they managed to stay together for so many years when many others have failed.  Or I wonder if they are widows just trying to find love and a constant companion once again.  With the younger couples, I want to know what it is about the other person that makes them want to spend every possible minute with each other. Love confuses me. I don't exactly have the best luck when it comes to love.

I finally made my way out of the condo and make my way down the hall to the elevator. I get in and hit the lobby level button.  On floor 15, Mr. Jackson, a celebrity attorney, gets on as well. Mr. Jackson as always kept to himself, rarely talking to anyone except Rue Moseley and as soon as the elevator hit floor 10, he was off and not surprisingly, headed in the direction of her door. Rue Moseley, a prominent magazine editor, is known for chasing just about anything with male anatomy parts.

When the elevator reaches the lobby level, I step out and enter into the buildings grand lobby. I see Adam, the concierge, and I throw a friendly smile his way. Adam is in his early twenties and obviously just barely out of school. He is thin an pale. Adam doesn't quite fit the LA stereotype but the residents here love him. He notices my smile and winks back with a quick smirk. He is not surprised when he realizes my plans for tonight.

Tonight, my friends and I are headed to Les Tres, the hotspot for everyone who is anyone. It is also supposed to be a place to rub elbows with celebrities but i have yet to rub elbows with anyone with a celebrity status, unless you count that creep from a popular dating reality TV show.  The crowd is usually a mix of mid twenties to early thirties, professional men and women. Most come here for only one reason and I can't deny that that is my reason as well for coming out tonight.

I pull up to Les Tres and give my keys to the valet. I don't even bother standing in line anymore. Joe, the bouncer, knows me by name and I am never denied entry. Joe is a very big and intimidating man standing at 6'4" and weighing in at about 250 pounds of nothing but muscular goodness. His black hair and dark eyes compliment his tan skin nicely. I can't say I haven't thought about inviting him back to my place and I promise, he wouldn't turn me down.

"When are you going to come out here and hang out with a real man?"

No surprise as that is his usual pick up line for many of the ladies. He has been trying to get me in bed for months now and I would take him up on it in a heartbeat but Joe is married and while he has many of the qualities that I look for in a potential "partner", there is one thing I can't get past and that is his wedding band.  Apparently he and his wife are ok with multiple partners, although, I am not real sure what they mean by multiple partners. It has so many different meanings.

I turn Joe down yet again and make my way into Les Tres. Tonight, this place is packed more than usual.  There are people dancing anywhere they can find a place.

I eventually find Abigail Bronson, first as usual. Abigail is the epitome of Barbie, blonde hair, blue eyes and legs that go on for days.  She is sitting at our usual spot alone which is new for her. She is always surrounded by the best looking men at Les Tres. And of course she looks fabulous.  I eventually make eye contact as I smile and wave and make my way to my seat. I order a mojito and settle in for the night.

Abigail became my first friend when I got to LA. I wasn't real sure what I was looking for when I moved out here but Abigail introduced me to things that I never thought I would try or do before. She helped me to figure out who I was and what I wanted in life.

"How was work this week?"

"It’s the same old thing over and over again. Can you believe someone actually argued with me over two shades of green that are almost identical?"

"I don't know how you do it."

Abigail is an heiress. Her dad owns a popular west coast fast food chain that I don't think I could honestly bring myself to eat at. She has never had to work a day in her life. Abigail claims that she does charity work but I have yet to see proof in the past year that we have been friends.

I order another a mojito have a couple of more conversational exchanges and start eyeing the room. I can't help but shop the real estate and I see a few "potentials" but nothing worth getting up for yet.  Abigail notices my wandering eye and playfully slugs my shoulder and we both laugh. She knows me too well.

The men that come to Les Tres are easy to read. I can usually figure out what job any guy has just by studying them.

Lawyer.

Doctor.

Advertising.

Sports Journalist.

And then I see him.

Oh.My.God.

Standing in the corner, trying to partially hide himself from anyone that would notice him, was a man that I have known for years. His posters would adorn my walls during the 90's. I had the most amazing dreams about him almost nightly and in those dreams, I would dream of him picking me out of a crowd of thousands of screaming, pubescent teenage girls to serenade me on stage. He would then lead me backstage where we would spend hours talking and getting to know each other. We eventually would fall in love and live happily every after.

Jordan Stamps.

There was no denying it was him. His blonde, curly hair and blue eyes was undeniably his. I had spent many days just staring into them.  Each night before bed I would make sure to kiss his poster goodnight. I would then pray to God that with fate, we would find ourselves in each others arms for all of eternity, a stretch I know but worth a shot.

Since the 90's, Jordan has had an extremely successful solo career. Rumor has it that for the past year he has kept himself into conclusion to work on what was to become the biggest album in history.

And there he was, just a mere 100 feet away from me. I couldn't help but stare at his beautiful body. Any woman would be lucky to fall asleep next to him every night with his strong arms to hold you. His lips looked so soft and it was all I could do to keep myself from dreaming of kissing them.

I guess I had been so busy staring at Jordan that I hadn't even noticed that Sofia had joined us. Sofia is what you would call an exotic beauty. She grew up on an island in the Pacific and had been blessed with perfection.  She had dark hair and even darker, mysterious eyes. Sofia designs jewelry and she constantly tries to get me to wear her designs to work for "advertisement purposes". Her designs are somewhat gaudy but still an incredible piece of art.

Even after I realized that Sofia had joined us, I still couldn't get my eyes to focus on anything other than Jordan.  He was so.... So perfect.  I had to gasp for a breath of air whenever he would smile.  I was drowning out whatever Abigail and Sofia had been carrying about. I was back int he front row of a 101 Degrees concert. I pictured Jordan's hand reaching for mine as he pulls me up onstage and gently sits me in a chair that had been placed in the center. He would then take my hand in his as he would stare into my eyes and serenade me with their #1 single, "I Only Have Eyes For You."

Crap. I think he just caught me staring. I guess it isn't so bad as long as I wasn't drooling. Crap. Was I drooling? I quickly grab the "specials" menu and nonchalantly check my reflection in the plastic glare.  Good. No drool.  I divert my attention back to the conversation going on. Sofia and Abigail were talking about Lauren.

Lauren is, to put it nicely, plain. She has red hair and green eyes and she doesn't really have a sense of fashion.  She always seems to be the topic of conversation between Abigail and Sofia when Lauren has her back turned.  Lauren is an amazing person. I like to consider her my best friend here in LA. I know that when I need anything, she is always there for me. I can never find anything bad to say about her. Lauren reminds me of myself pre-LA days, humble and down to earth, me when I didn't care what kind of clothes I wore or going out into public without making sure my make up was perfect.

Sometimes, I really miss those days.

Lauren was unusually late. She is always the first to arrive and if she is running late, she will send a quick text to let me know otherwise. This is so unlike Lauren and I am slowly starting to become worried.

"Where are? I am really starting to freak here!"

I put down "the Brain" and looked up in Jordan's direction. I catch his eye and he smiles at me. At least I think it was at me. It was a shy smile and then he quickly looked away and directed his attention back to the people around him.

WHOOHOO!!!!

He noticed me. At least I think he did.  Jordan Stamps looked at me. And he smiled. I couldn't believe it! I suddenly felt light headed so I ordered another mojito.  At this point, I am feeling slightly inebriated and hoping that I didn't just imagine the whole thing. I casually throw a glace over my shoulder. I spot Lauren making her way to us.  It was about time. I wasn't real sure how much more I could take of Abigail and Sofia.

Lauren didn't look good. Her face was swollen and her eyes matched her red hair. There was no doubt that she had been crying. It was painfully obvious that tonight was not about me trying to cozy up with Jordan but it was about Lauren and whatever emotional relationship dilemma that plagued her. Sofia and Abigail conveniently excused themselves from the table at this time to go find more drinks.

I know that I have my own "male issues." However, I know that at age 26, I still have my whole life to live. I like "relationships" but the permanence of marriage scares me.

Regardless of my indiscretions, Lauren was hurting. She doesn't get past relationships with drowning out her tears with shopping like I can. She needs reassurance, support and a big tub of ice cream. I can't blame the men though. She can be clingy and extremely emotional when it comes to men and sex. You can't help but feel bad for her though. She falls to quickly into love.  This isn't the first time we have been in this situation and I know it won't be the last.

I just didn't know why it had to be tonight!

"He said I was too... Clingy. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Lauren..."

I had to pause for a second... I was trying really hard to think of his name... Was it James? Stephen?.. Wait. Bill. Yeah, that was it.

"Lauren, Bill doesn't know what he let go of. Any man would be so lucky to have someone like you in their life. You are beautiful. Amazing. Caring. Funny. And the good men look for those qualities in their women. The wrong men only try to see what is underneath your clothes.

"And what is your excuse?"

Crap.

"Tonight has nothing to do about me. Don't drag me into this conversation!" I said playfully.

The next half hour, Lauren and I sipped on mojitos and scouted the crowd. By the end of the second half hour, Lauren was just about drunk and out on the dance floor searching for her next mistake. I spotted her lounging with a man in his early 20's, quite possibly a columnist of some sort. Sofia was talking to a late 20's model and Abigail had found a much older doctor. Typical.'

I looked all over for Jordan but I couldn't find him anywhere so I decided to call it an early night and head home.

Sigh.

As I was leaving Les Tres, Joe tried to get me to slip him my phone number and address again. After a few too many mojitos like tonight, I might have given in but instead, I just waited for the valet to bring me my car and I headed home. When I got back to my building, I got on the elevator. It jerked to a stop on floor 10 and it appears that Mr. Jackson decided to call it an early night as well. I get to my condo, put the key in the door and crawl into my bed. The next thing I know I am asleep. Those familiar dreams came flooding back into my head and I have the best sleep I have had in 10 years.

Introduction - The Dream

10 YEARS AGO

It had been three months since my 16th birthday. The day I had been looking forward to was finally here. My parents had bought tickets for my best friend Vanessa and I for the 101 Degrees concert. I had spent the past few weeks planning out and choosing the perfect outfit. I ended up choosing my favorite pair of jeans, a cute yellow top and my definitely worn but definitely comfortable slip on flats. I applied my makeup for over an hour and half to make sure I had it just perfect. My long brown hair was curled and flowing. I was more than ready.

I had just received my driver's license, the international symbol for independence to any teenager.I drove from my house out in the country into town to pick up my best friend and crime partner for the past 11 years. Vanessa Santos was a Latin beauty. She had long straight jet black hair that fell all the way down her back. Her eyes were the same jet black and sparkled when she smiled. She was shorter than most but had the most amazing personality. We had been best friends since I moved to Pleasanton in 1st grade. We became instant best friends and have been inseperable ever since.

Since we were so excited, the drive into San Anotnio seemed to drag on and take forever. We turned up my 101 Degrees CD, rolled down the windows while singing at the top of our lungs. We laughted for the whole hour and a half drive. I had had so many fun adventures with Vanessa over the past few years but this by far was slowly becoming my most favorite memory as of yet. It even beats getting ready for the senior prom our freshman year of high school. We both had crushes on two different senionrs and we would spend each night on the phone with each other trying to think of different ways to get them to notice us and ask us to prom. After several months, both of our prospective dates had asked us to prom. We spent the next few months planning and perfecting that night. It was the time of our lives. At least up until now.

Since we had floor seasts, we wanted to arrive early to make sure we got great seats in the very front. I wanted to make sure that we didn't miss the chance for any opportunity for Jordan Stamps to be standing above me and sweat drip off of his face and fall right on me. Gross but definitely worth it.

We parked the car in the overpriced parking garage and found our way in line. We occupied ourselves the best way we knew how. We met other girls and asked each other trivia questions about Jordan Stamps.

"Where was Jordan Stamps born?"

"Destin, Florida!"

"What is Jordan Stamps favorite food?"

"Pepperoni Pizza!"

In what seemed like an eternity, the doors to the dome were finally opened. It seemed like everone had the same agenda and we all ran inside while pushing and shoving our way in. Vanessa and I finally found the way to the floor and squeezed ourselves between everyone until we made it to the front of the stage. The spot couldn't be any better. It was like we died and went to heaven.

The opening act was a new girl group called Sugar. They got the crowd more and more pumped with each song that they sang. By the end of their set, everyone had found their way to the floor and it had become quite crowded. Everyone was pushing Vanessa and I up against the gate that had been set up for security reasons. We were too high on adrenaline to even notice or care.

When Sugar finished their set and left the stage, there was a 15 minute intermission for a set change. Vanessa and I dared not leave for fear of losing our perfect seats. When the stage was finally set, the lights dimmed and 101 Degrees took the stage. Everyone in the dome was screaming at teh top of their lungs including me. I coiuldn't beleive I was here and had the best seat in the house.

I stood their in amazzement as 101 Degrees danced in front of us. I kept my eyes focused completely on Jordan. It was so hard to focus on anythign else going on on the stage. When Jordan would smile, I woudl feel my knees go weak and after a few high enegery dance songs, teh lights came back up and Jordon walked out on the stage alone. He walked to the edge of the stage and he was standing directly above me. He put his hand down and reached for mine.  I shrieked with excitement. I reached up and took his hand as he pulled me up on stage. Sicne I had been on the verge of passing out, I hadn't realized that a chair had been set up on stage. He pulled me to the chair and set me down gentley in the seat. He got down on one knee, put my hand in his and began to serenade me with "Eyes Only For You."

The next thing I knew, I heard my alarm go off and I realized I was late for school.